Hitting Obstacles every step of the way.....

2010 started off in hyper mode. A year looking to be the most promising in my life, just hit an abrupt stop. The lined up jobs have vanished, the girl that I longed for came and went. Leaving nothing but a black hole. The world which I was gladly building has been hit by an asteroid. What now??? Am back to a cyclical pattern that is sure to kill me before time. I want to quit everything and just leave. Leave to a place where everything is new. A place where no one knows who I am or where Ive been. A place where I can come across the girl am looking for. Finally put and end to this loneliness. A loneliness that is eating me alive. An empty feeling which bring about thoughts of failure. Although am positive that it will pass, I just cant seem to get over this overwhelming feeling of dismay. Depressed for multiple reasons, reasons that at times i cannot put into words. I hate it, I hate this life. From today on I will begin abolishing that feeling of torment. I dont want what the next person has, I want more, I want what I want. No comparisons, no let downs. I JUST WANT IT!!!!!